by Ingrid Prohaska
“I love the moon,” she said - I was holding her in my arms dancing to our song, “the moon is always with me.”
I smiled. I really like her kind of philosophy, now interested in what would follow.
“I know the moon is here all the time, visible or not, day and night, no matter if I pay attention on it or not; no matter if I am in a good mood or in a bad one. The moon is like a reliable friend.”
“I’m with you, too.” I said.
“Yes,” she replied, “but how long will you be with me?”
“Forever.” I said – suddenly worried how I could have made such a promise.
She looked at me. “How do you know? None of us knows the future. Do we?”
I felt her head on my shoulder again.
Still dancing I held her closer.
“I love you,” I just said.
Copyright © Ingrid Prohaska
_
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
The Story of the Little Princess
by Ingrid Prohaska
Once upon a time there lived a little princess in a little castle. She was a unique girl and her family loved her very much.
Time went by and the little princess was old enough to meet people outside the castle.
“What a lovely girl,” they said, “she’ll get a good marriage one day.”
But behind her back she heard them whisper, “She can’t be smart, she is too beautiful.”
The little princess was worried and she felt hurt.
Back at home she thought, “Why don’t they see me as I am? I am smart, too. I’ll show them how smart I can be.”
And she decided to protect herself so that she wouldn’t get hurt anymore.
She created a double, looking exactly like herself, but strong enough not to get hurt. The next day the doubled princess left home to meet people outside. When she arrived home again, she told the princess that nobody had noticed the difference and that she hadn’t got any hurt.
In time the princess created a lot of doubles. And she sent out that double who she thought would fit best to the people she was going to meet. The princess herself didn’t leave the castle anymore. When the doubles came home, they told the princess about the life outside and about the experiences they had made. The princess smiled satisfied, she had found a way to protect
herself. But the plan backfired. The princess hadn’t thought about that the doubles could develop themselves in a way she couldn’t control; and that they became stronger and stronger, perhaps stronger than she was.
Nobody noticed what was going on. Only her mother felt that something was wrong and she often asked herself sadly, “Where is my lovely daughter? She is not herself anymore.”
Time went by and the doubles became stronger more and more. And the princess herself thought more and more that she couldn’t exist outside and that it would be the best to keep hidden. But somehow the situation seemed to get out of control. Fear about the world, the life outside and the people there grew up. She felt isolated and somehow locked in. She missed life. And a main question came more and more into her mind, “Who am I?”.
In one of her desperate moments she told her mother the whole story about her doubles and the reason why she had created them and asked her for an advice. Her mother sighed relieved, because now she knew that her child wasn’t lost.
“You needn’t be afraid. You are a healthy strong girl. Believe me you really don’t need your doubles. Send them away and make your own experiences. The world is also full of good things and good people. Believe in yourself and live your life.”
A bit of her self-confidence back she started to send some of her doubles away. First the one who brought home all the fear; then the one who brought home the sorrows; then the one who fed the doubts; the one who tried so hard to be a perfect being; the dream-killer; the one who always said “no way out”; the one who thought that feelings were not trustworthy; and so on. They all left
the princess one after another.
The princess felt better more and more. Only one double was left; the one who took care about the princess, the one who consoled the princess when she was sad. The princess liked that double very much. But after a while living together the caring-double said, “Hey princess. You know I like you very much, but I see you don’t need me anymore. You are strong enough; I see you take care of yourself; I see you love yourself. I’ll leave you now but I’ll be reachable. Just call me if you want me to come back.” And so the last double disappeared.
When you meet the princess on the street today you can be sure that you meet the original. She isn’t hiding herself anymore. Sometimes she is laughing and sometimes she is crying because – she is getting hurt sometimes. But she is living her feelings again and so - she is living her life again.
Copyright © Ingrid Prohaska
_
Once upon a time there lived a little princess in a little castle. She was a unique girl and her family loved her very much.
Time went by and the little princess was old enough to meet people outside the castle.
“What a lovely girl,” they said, “she’ll get a good marriage one day.”
But behind her back she heard them whisper, “She can’t be smart, she is too beautiful.”
The little princess was worried and she felt hurt.
Back at home she thought, “Why don’t they see me as I am? I am smart, too. I’ll show them how smart I can be.”
And she decided to protect herself so that she wouldn’t get hurt anymore.
She created a double, looking exactly like herself, but strong enough not to get hurt. The next day the doubled princess left home to meet people outside. When she arrived home again, she told the princess that nobody had noticed the difference and that she hadn’t got any hurt.
In time the princess created a lot of doubles. And she sent out that double who she thought would fit best to the people she was going to meet. The princess herself didn’t leave the castle anymore. When the doubles came home, they told the princess about the life outside and about the experiences they had made. The princess smiled satisfied, she had found a way to protect
herself. But the plan backfired. The princess hadn’t thought about that the doubles could develop themselves in a way she couldn’t control; and that they became stronger and stronger, perhaps stronger than she was.
Nobody noticed what was going on. Only her mother felt that something was wrong and she often asked herself sadly, “Where is my lovely daughter? She is not herself anymore.”
Time went by and the doubles became stronger more and more. And the princess herself thought more and more that she couldn’t exist outside and that it would be the best to keep hidden. But somehow the situation seemed to get out of control. Fear about the world, the life outside and the people there grew up. She felt isolated and somehow locked in. She missed life. And a main question came more and more into her mind, “Who am I?”.
In one of her desperate moments she told her mother the whole story about her doubles and the reason why she had created them and asked her for an advice. Her mother sighed relieved, because now she knew that her child wasn’t lost.
“You needn’t be afraid. You are a healthy strong girl. Believe me you really don’t need your doubles. Send them away and make your own experiences. The world is also full of good things and good people. Believe in yourself and live your life.”
A bit of her self-confidence back she started to send some of her doubles away. First the one who brought home all the fear; then the one who brought home the sorrows; then the one who fed the doubts; the one who tried so hard to be a perfect being; the dream-killer; the one who always said “no way out”; the one who thought that feelings were not trustworthy; and so on. They all left
the princess one after another.
The princess felt better more and more. Only one double was left; the one who took care about the princess, the one who consoled the princess when she was sad. The princess liked that double very much. But after a while living together the caring-double said, “Hey princess. You know I like you very much, but I see you don’t need me anymore. You are strong enough; I see you take care of yourself; I see you love yourself. I’ll leave you now but I’ll be reachable. Just call me if you want me to come back.” And so the last double disappeared.
When you meet the princess on the street today you can be sure that you meet the original. She isn’t hiding herself anymore. Sometimes she is laughing and sometimes she is crying because – she is getting hurt sometimes. But she is living her feelings again and so - she is living her life again.
Copyright © Ingrid Prohaska
_
Friday, December 25, 2009
About Somebody
by Ingrid Prohaska
I was in an ugly mood that day. I remember only a few days in my life when I was in such a bad mood. The sun was shining outside and it was a really warm day in early summer but I had those destructive thoughts about my life. Well with one word I couldn’t stop looking on my dark side.
Sinking deeper and deeper into the swamp of that part of my soul I thought about what I couldn’t have reached yet and why I was such a loser.
Nearly on the bottom of my black thoughts I spoke out loud, “Is there anybody on earth who really needs me?” And I started crying.
My hand just reached for a handkerchief when I heard a gentle voice saying very shyly, “Hey you, I need you.”
I was really surprised wondering who was speaking because I was very sure that I was alone.
I looked around and saw - a little figure looking at me; expecting how I would react. The figure was hardly to describe, maybe half of a meter tall, somehow transparent like a piece of fog in the form of a little human, the contour very weak, but with a pleasant charisma, somehow like-able and somehow even familiar.
"Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m Somebody,” the little figure answered, “and I need you. You can help me.”
“I don’t think that I can help somebody. I even can’t help myself.” I replied.
“But …” its voice sounded a bit sad, but then - this little figure actually started singing, “You are the sunshine of my life …”
I had to laugh, but immediately very serious again I said, “Stop singing. You make me laugh.”
“What’s wrong when you are laughing?” the little Somebody wanted to know and started singing again, “You are the sunshine of my life …”
“Stop it!” I shouted, “Don’t you see that I’m in a bad mood?”
The little Somebody looked at me very sadly. “I love you,” the little Somebody said very softly, “I trust you. And I know you can help me.” Its eyes looked at me very gently and warmly, and its words touched me.
“So, how do think I can help you?” I asked a bit more calm now.
“I know a place where a big treasure is hidden," the little Somebody said with twinkling eyes, "But I can’t get there alone. Look at me. I’m too little and too weak to get very far.”
“Yes, I see.” I answered and then I asked, “Is it possible that we met each other in former times?”
“Maybe,” the little Somebody smiled secretly.
“You look so acquainted to me.” I continued.
“Possible.” the little Somebody answered, “So would you please help me?”
“Alright then. - What do you think I can do for you?”
“Please follow me,” the little Somebody said, “I’ll show it to you.”
I stood up and walked behind the little Somebody. I didn’t know why, but I tried to imitate its kind of walking and the feeling that I knew this figure grew up more and more.
After a while we reached a lake and the little Somebody stopped, “The weather is fine. Let’s go swimming.”
“Swimming?” I asked surprised, “I thought you wanted to show me something.”
“Yes,” the little Somebody said, “Take off your clothes and jump head first into the water; I know you like the feeling when the water flows along your body and you hear nothing except the rushing of the water. I know you like just to feel the water and yourself.”
“Yes, that’s right,” I wondered, “but how do you know …?”
“So, come on.” the little Somebody said and jumped into the water.
I took off my clothes, still shaking my head of wonder, and jumped with a header into the lake.
And I enjoyed it so much. I had already forgotten what a great feeling it was for me, leaving all back and tasting the freedom.
When my head was out of the water again I looked for the little Somebody. I found it close to me kicking with hands and feet.
“Can you see the island in front of us?” the little Somebody asked.
“Yes.” I answered.
“I want to get there but I’m too weak to swim so far.”
“So am I,” I sighed.
“No, no, I believe you are strong enough to swim so far.” the little Somebody replied.
“Let me sit on your neck; I’m sure we can reach the island.”
“I guess it’ll take us at least one hour,” I said, “and I’m pretty sure - I don’t have the power to swim so long.”
“I know you can do it.” the little Somebody replied softly.
I looked at the island again, tried to estimate the distance again and said finally with a sigh, “Alright then, I’ll try it.”
The little Somebody smiled satisfied.
After a while I got a bit tired and so I reduced my speed. The little Somebody noticed that and suggested, “Swim on your back. The water will carry us. I know you like that.”
“Yes, I do indeed,” I answered wondering again why that figure knew me so well, “but I can’t see where we are moving when I swim on my back.”
“I’ll guide you. Trust me.” the little Somebody said.
“Alright then.” I said and turned my body on my back.
The little Somebody took place on my right shoulder and I saw that it was looking into the direction we were going to swim.
I really enjoyed the moving of my body on the water, while I was looking at the sky watching the clouds or keeping my eyes closed and enjoyed only the moving on the water. Suddenly I hurt my head.
“Ouch!” I said, “Hey little Somebody, you promised to guide me!”
“Just a piece of wood,” the little Somebody tried to calm me. “Take it square over your belly. It’ll help us.”
I did what the little Somebody suggested. It sat down on the piece of wood now and we continued our way more comfortably and without any hurry.
Finally we really reached the island. We climbed out of the water and lay down for a rest.
“Do you enjoy our journey?” the little Somebody asked.
“Well, it is hard but I like adventures.” I answered wondering about my words because - I had nearly forgotten that I like adventures.
After a while the little Somebody suggested to continue our journey. We walked along the shore. The little Somebody with its little feet walked slower than I wanted to go so I asked if I should carry it. Somebody took place on my right shoulder.
I was in an ugly mood that day. I remember only a few days in my life when I was in such a bad mood. The sun was shining outside and it was a really warm day in early summer but I had those destructive thoughts about my life. Well with one word I couldn’t stop looking on my dark side.
Sinking deeper and deeper into the swamp of that part of my soul I thought about what I couldn’t have reached yet and why I was such a loser.
Nearly on the bottom of my black thoughts I spoke out loud, “Is there anybody on earth who really needs me?” And I started crying.
My hand just reached for a handkerchief when I heard a gentle voice saying very shyly, “Hey you, I need you.”
I was really surprised wondering who was speaking because I was very sure that I was alone.
I looked around and saw - a little figure looking at me; expecting how I would react. The figure was hardly to describe, maybe half of a meter tall, somehow transparent like a piece of fog in the form of a little human, the contour very weak, but with a pleasant charisma, somehow like-able and somehow even familiar.
"Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m Somebody,” the little figure answered, “and I need you. You can help me.”
“I don’t think that I can help somebody. I even can’t help myself.” I replied.
“But …” its voice sounded a bit sad, but then - this little figure actually started singing, “You are the sunshine of my life …”
I had to laugh, but immediately very serious again I said, “Stop singing. You make me laugh.”
“What’s wrong when you are laughing?” the little Somebody wanted to know and started singing again, “You are the sunshine of my life …”
“Stop it!” I shouted, “Don’t you see that I’m in a bad mood?”
The little Somebody looked at me very sadly. “I love you,” the little Somebody said very softly, “I trust you. And I know you can help me.” Its eyes looked at me very gently and warmly, and its words touched me.
“So, how do think I can help you?” I asked a bit more calm now.
“I know a place where a big treasure is hidden," the little Somebody said with twinkling eyes, "But I can’t get there alone. Look at me. I’m too little and too weak to get very far.”
“Yes, I see.” I answered and then I asked, “Is it possible that we met each other in former times?”
“Maybe,” the little Somebody smiled secretly.
“You look so acquainted to me.” I continued.
“Possible.” the little Somebody answered, “So would you please help me?”
“Alright then. - What do you think I can do for you?”
“Please follow me,” the little Somebody said, “I’ll show it to you.”
I stood up and walked behind the little Somebody. I didn’t know why, but I tried to imitate its kind of walking and the feeling that I knew this figure grew up more and more.
After a while we reached a lake and the little Somebody stopped, “The weather is fine. Let’s go swimming.”
“Swimming?” I asked surprised, “I thought you wanted to show me something.”
“Yes,” the little Somebody said, “Take off your clothes and jump head first into the water; I know you like the feeling when the water flows along your body and you hear nothing except the rushing of the water. I know you like just to feel the water and yourself.”
“Yes, that’s right,” I wondered, “but how do you know …?”
“So, come on.” the little Somebody said and jumped into the water.
I took off my clothes, still shaking my head of wonder, and jumped with a header into the lake.
And I enjoyed it so much. I had already forgotten what a great feeling it was for me, leaving all back and tasting the freedom.
When my head was out of the water again I looked for the little Somebody. I found it close to me kicking with hands and feet.
“Can you see the island in front of us?” the little Somebody asked.
“Yes.” I answered.
“I want to get there but I’m too weak to swim so far.”
“So am I,” I sighed.
“No, no, I believe you are strong enough to swim so far.” the little Somebody replied.
“Let me sit on your neck; I’m sure we can reach the island.”
“I guess it’ll take us at least one hour,” I said, “and I’m pretty sure - I don’t have the power to swim so long.”
“I know you can do it.” the little Somebody replied softly.
I looked at the island again, tried to estimate the distance again and said finally with a sigh, “Alright then, I’ll try it.”
The little Somebody smiled satisfied.
After a while I got a bit tired and so I reduced my speed. The little Somebody noticed that and suggested, “Swim on your back. The water will carry us. I know you like that.”
“Yes, I do indeed,” I answered wondering again why that figure knew me so well, “but I can’t see where we are moving when I swim on my back.”
“I’ll guide you. Trust me.” the little Somebody said.
“Alright then.” I said and turned my body on my back.
The little Somebody took place on my right shoulder and I saw that it was looking into the direction we were going to swim.
I really enjoyed the moving of my body on the water, while I was looking at the sky watching the clouds or keeping my eyes closed and enjoyed only the moving on the water. Suddenly I hurt my head.
“Ouch!” I said, “Hey little Somebody, you promised to guide me!”
“Just a piece of wood,” the little Somebody tried to calm me. “Take it square over your belly. It’ll help us.”
I did what the little Somebody suggested. It sat down on the piece of wood now and we continued our way more comfortably and without any hurry.
Finally we really reached the island. We climbed out of the water and lay down for a rest.
“Do you enjoy our journey?” the little Somebody asked.
“Well, it is hard but I like adventures.” I answered wondering about my words because - I had nearly forgotten that I like adventures.
After a while the little Somebody suggested to continue our journey. We walked along the shore. The little Somebody with its little feet walked slower than I wanted to go so I asked if I should carry it. Somebody took place on my right shoulder.
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