Saturday, December 25, 2010

Just a Possibility

I think I can imagine what is possible.
When I can imagine what I think is impossible,
then maybe I just think it's impossible,
although it might be possible.

Does this possibly make sense?
Or is it just an impossible thought by me?

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Friday, December 24, 2010

About a Break

video 

by Ingrid Prohaska

"Take a break" she said
but I couldn't
"Take a break" she said
but I couldn't stop running
"Take a break" she said
but I couldn't stop running after things
things I thought I have to reach

One day
her voice faded
and she moved to a better place.
And I
I had to take a break

"Life will go on" I cried
but I couldn't
"Life will go on" I cried
but I couldn't continue
"Life will go on" I cried
but I couldn't continue the way
the way I was used to go

One day
I stopped searching
and started finding
And I
I opened my eyes

"Dance with me" he smiled
and I couldn't
"Dance with me" he smiled
and I couldn't resist
"Dance with me" he smiled
and I couldn't resist to say
to say finally - "I love you"

Copyright
© 2011 Ingrid Prohaska
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Monday, December 20, 2010

On the Terminal

by Ingrid Prohaska

I got out of the train on that big terminal. I had a lot of bags; my baggage had become very heavy during the long lasting journey.
I felt tired, somehow burned out, hopeless and nearly desperate. I didn’t know, where my journey would go when I was going to leave the station again, but I was sure - I didn’t want to take all these heavy bags with me any more.

"St.Lazare" Claude Monet
I carried my baggage into the station hall and looked for a silent place. Finally I sat down on a bench in a low frequented area. I thought about what I could do.
I watched the passengers carrying their suitcases and bags. Some of them carried very heavy, others seemed almost to dance with their light bags.
“I wish that could be me; dancing through the life only with light bags, carrying only things I really need.”

I had lost some of my light bags with things I was missing now. And somehow I was already used on the heavy bags I carried with me; this made it so difficult to dump them. Sometimes I asked myself, why it was so easy to lose light bags, and seemingly not possible to get rid of heavy ones.

While I was lost in my thoughts, my eyes fell upon a sign “Lost & Found”.
“Hey,” I thought, “there are the experts!”

I took up all my bags, carried them towards the sign, walked into the agency and looked for a friendly face. A middle-aged man with a blue working-coat stood behind the desk. He had a boring face without any expression.
“Can I help you?” he said expressionless with a monotonous voice.
“Yes, I really want to get rid of my heavy bags. Could you please give me an advice?”
“Never heard about someone who wants to lose something,” he answered still monotonous, “Normally people come to us because they want to find what they have lost.”
“Well,” I said, “I also lost a lot of things during my journey. So, maybe you can help me in this way?”
“Yes,” he said and gave me a form, “fill it out, make a list, describe your bags and bring it back. Then we will see, if someone has found your things.”
I took my pen and wrote down a list: love, time, joy, humor and hope.
I gave him the list and a smile crossed his face.
“Yes Lady, these things are often lost. Our backroom is full of these things. These are light bags. People rather lose light bags than heavy ones.”
He opened the door to the backroom, so that I could have a look into it and I was really surprised.
“And nobody comes to get back what he has lost?” I asked.
“Seldom,” he said. “Although many people miss their light bags, they don’t take the time to find them. Others even don’t notice what they have lost. So, we’ll have a look for your bags.”
He went into the backroom and while I was waiting, I felt hope coming back. And really how I had felt, he brought me the well acquainted bag of my hopes. Suddenly I felt joy. I had tears in my eyes when he brought me my bag of joy a short time later.

I left the “Lost & Found” agency again with my bags of hope and joy. And anyhow - my heavy baggage seemed lighter. I sat down again in the station hall. I cried and laughed the same time.

“Hey Lady, is everything alright with you?” An old man had sat down beside me. I told him my story about getting back my hope and my joy.
“But I still wish to lose my heavy bags.” I ended my story.
“What is in your heavy bags?” he asked.
“Well,” I sighed, “I had a lot of bad experiences, hurts, guilt, doubts, fears. – Do you know how to get rid of them?”
He smiled. “Losing heavy things is not so easy, eh? They are often connected with the fear of forgetting and forgetting bad things is often connected with the fear of happening again. Right?”
I nodded.
“Love helps,” he continued.
“But I have lost my love.” I answered sadly.
“Okay,” he said, “and what’s about your self-love? I’m pretty sure you have some, otherwise you wouldn’t wish to change your baggage.”
I looked around, “Could be I have a little bag self-love anywhere.”
“So take care of your self-love, let it grow. This can be a way to lose your doubts and fear and guilt. I’m sure you won’t miss them. And love will heal your hurts. And love,” he said, “will become more and more, if you take care of it and you will be able to give love and so you will get love.”
I felt that this man was right.
“And – do you also know, how I can find my lost time and my lost humor?”
He smiled again. “Time,” he said, “is lost. It is past. But take care of your future moments. Try to enjoy every moment in your life. And humor,” he said still smiling, “humor, you’ll see, come back alone.”
Before I could thank the old man for his advice, he disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. But he was right again.

After I had left the station – with my light baggage I had decided to walk except of taking another train – I found a bag of humor. I laughed and I danced and then – I wrote down this story.

Copyright © 2007, 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Out of the Shade

by Ingrid Prohaska

I think
she has to step out of the shade
before she is going to be fade

I think
she deserves much more
than just being number two, three or four.

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thunderstorm

by Ingrid Prohaska


Dense clouds of doubts
heavy suspense in the air

the wish for relief arises
occupies all the thoughts

an upcoming storm of shouts

suddenly
the moment of enlightenment
followed by an upsetting thunder

teardrops draw signs into the dust
finally pour the disappointment away
to clear the sky for a sunny tomorrow

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska

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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Melody of Love

When our hearts beat in harmony,
our souls play the melody of love.

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Friday, November 5, 2010

Shadows of the Past

Smiling shadows of the past
are reaching out their hands
for a beneficial friendship.
 
Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Friday, September 24, 2010

The Fire Inside

by Ingrid Prohaska

Whenever I pick up my pen
and write down some lines,
I'm feeding the fire inside.
This fire keeps my soul alive
and gives my heart a reason to beat.

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska_

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Let me be

by Ingrid Prohaska

Well this is one of my first poems written in 2007.
I tried to rewrite it, but finally I decided to "let it be what it is".
I hope you will like it.


Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Don’t cover me with stupid duties,
don’t cover me with guilt and fear.
Don’t cut my sprouts, let me grow.
Let me develop buds, let me show you,
who I am, let me be a beautiful plant.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Let me take the responsibility of my life.
I won’t hurt you, I don’t want things
which belong to someone else, only mine.
Our world is so beautiful and so full,
there is enough for everyone.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Let me live my dreams, don’t kill my fantasy.
I want to be a happy being,
I want to be what I can be.
I want to be what I am.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Don’t cut my roots, let me be,
where I’m allowed to be myself.
Let me be, where I belong to,
Let me be at home in myself.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Let me live my hope, my joy, my good mood.
Let me doing it my way.
Let me be part of a beautiful world.
Let me live my life, let me live my love.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Don’t cut my wings, let me fly.
Let me take off; let me enjoy a good view into my future.
Don’t call me stupid, because I’m dreaming;
Or call me stupid, I wouldn’t care, but
let me be what I am and let me live my life.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Don’t press me gently in a form,
It wouldn’t fit, would only hurt.
Nobody is average, so not am I.
Don’t throw me out of my track,
All tracks are ending at the same station.
So let me be on my track, even you think it’s wrong for me.
It is my track and it is my life.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Let me trust my inner voice, even I can’t explain it today.
Every part of my life is part of a picture,
finished and shown at the end of my life.
I want to see the best I can paint.

Let me be what I am, let me live my life.
Let me believe in what I know.
Let me be pride of the creatures, we call us.
Don’t tell me what’s important for me,
Don’t tell me about things I should need.
The only thing I really want
is living – my life.

Copyright © 2007 Ingrid Prohaska

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Monday, August 2, 2010

s t r e s s


di di di   eu eu eu   di di di
di di di   eu eu eu   di di di
di di di   eu eu eu   di di di

blub
blub


Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska _

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Giant and his Destiny

by Ingrid Prohaska

Once upon a time there lived a giant; he was very warm-hearted and extraordinarily good-natured.

The giant loved people and wanted to communicate with them. He wanted to listen what people were talking about and he wanted to speak with them. But he was afraid that he could frighten people because of his size and also because of his voice. So, whenever he spoke he used a much reduced voice; he never allowed himself to speak in his natural given loudness. But because he was that tall, people weren’t able to hear him and so it was very hard for him to be in touch with common people. This made him sad more and more.

One day his heart was already that heavy and so full of pain that he fell down on his knees and started crying, “Why am I such a damn giant? What did I wrong? Why am I punished in this way?”

Suddenly he noticed that he could hear people talking and he thought by himself, “Hey, being on my knees makes me shorter!” and so he didn’t stand up again. He was happy about his idea that he could listen what people were talking about and that it would be possible to talk to people now.

But the people didn’t react as he hoped. They just saw that he was moving on his knees and they looked at him with suspicion. They avoided being in touch with him – he still was too different. So he saddened again. He felt alone and with every single day his pain grew bigger and bigger.

"TheColossus or Giant" Francisco de Goya
One day the giant was already so desperate and at the same time so angry about his tragic fate that he jumped up on his feet again and an incredible loud cry left his giant body. He cried out all his fury, all his pain and all his sorrow; for the first time in his life he allowed himself to be himself; and without thinking what would be the next to his cry, his voice started to sound like a melody and this melody sang by the giants powerful voice made the people stunned, the sound of the giants voice filled the air and his song moved around the world. And then - something very special happened. His song touched people’s hearts; stressed people felt relaxed, sick people felt healthy, soldiers laid down their guns.

The people looked up to the giant and for the first time in his life he was recognized and respected. And for the first time in his life he really felt happy and completely satisfied.

And if the giant isn’t already dead, I’m sure he is still singing today; and in silent moments when you look up to the sky and watch the clouds moving and when you think you can hear the wind, then listen twice, because then it is possible to listen to the giants songs.

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska

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Sunday, June 27, 2010

Prayer of a Caterpillar

Before I am going to die
please let me live as butterfly. 

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Nice to me

by Ingrid Prohaska

I was not always nice to me
my soul felt harm, my heart unfree
but then one day an earthquake like
my world broke into pieces.

I stood there naked and alone
felt every touch of air
felt every raindrop on my skin
and every sunray on my hair.

Everything seemed lost for me
but then - somehow reborn
I've started being nice to me
my soul feels calm, my heart is free.

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Friday, June 25, 2010

Maybe ...

by Ingrid Prohaska


Maybe
I am just hurt
but maybe
I am wise
maybe
I just want to say
try to be honest
for the rest of your life

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Thursday, June 24, 2010

When it is enough ...

by Ingrid Prohaska

"I am as good as I am", she said finally and turned around to walk away.
"Wait ...", he said, but there was nothing else she wanted to hear. She had just cut the thread between them and walked away with her head held high and her look straight into her future.
"I've just stopped to explain myself", she smiled.
Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Why?

We start with a cry
and end with a sigh.
I just wonder - why?

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska
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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What is it?

by Ingrid Prohaska

- this - is - it -- this - is - it -- this - is - it -
 - this is it - this is it - this is it - this is it -
thisisit thisisit thisisit thisisit thisisit thisisit
yahooooo!

Copyright © Ingrid Prohaska
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Sunday, April 18, 2010

On a Beautiful Morning ...

by Ingrid Prohaska

On a beautiful morning I looked out of my window and saw this fantastic blue sky. But while I was thinking about what I would like to do, dark clouds were moving towards the sun; and I had to read in big fat letters "But I should ..."

Copyright © Ingrid Prohaska

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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Desperation

by Ingrid Prohaska


I really don't know
where else can I go
I feel so alone
want to find home
Can't disappear
although I fear
I'm already gone

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska




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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Dance with the Moon

by Ingrid Prohaska

“I love the moon,” she said - I was holding her in my arms dancing to our song, “the moon is always with me.”

I smiled. I really like her kind of philosophy, now interested in what would follow.


“I know the moon is here all the time, visible or not, day and night, no matter if I pay attention on it or not; no matter if I am in a good mood or in a bad one. The moon is like a reliable friend.”


“I’m with you, too.” I said.


“Yes,” she replied, “but how long will you be with me?”


“Forever.” I said – suddenly worried how I could have made such a promise.


She looked at me. “How do you know? None of us knows the future. Do we?”

I felt her head on my shoulder again.

Still dancing I held her closer.

“I love you,” I just said.

Copyright © Ingrid Prohaska
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Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Story of the Little Princess

by Ingrid Prohaska

Once upon a time there lived a little princess in a little castle. She was a unique girl and her family loved her very much.

Time went by and the little princess was old enough to meet people outside the castle.
“What a lovely girl,” they said, “she’ll get a good marriage one day.”
But behind her back she heard them whisper, “She can’t be smart, she is too beautiful.”
The little princess was worried and she felt hurt.
Back at home she thought, “Why don’t they see me as I am? I am smart, too. I’ll show them how smart I can be.”
And she decided to protect herself so that she wouldn’t get hurt anymore.


She created a double, looking exactly like herself, but strong enough not to get hurt. The next day the doubled princess left home to meet people outside. When she arrived home again, she told the princess that nobody had noticed the difference and that she hadn’t got any hurt.

In time the princess created a lot of doubles. And she sent out that double who she thought would fit best to the people she was going to meet. The princess herself didn’t leave the castle anymore. When the doubles came home, they told the princess about the life outside and about the experiences they had made. The princess smiled satisfied, she had found a way to protect
herself. But the plan backfired. The princess hadn’t thought about that the doubles could develop themselves in a way she couldn’t control; and that they became stronger and stronger, perhaps stronger than she was.

Nobody noticed what was going on. Only her mother felt that something was wrong and she often asked herself sadly, “Where is my lovely daughter? She is not herself anymore.”

Time went by and the doubles became stronger more and more. And the princess herself thought more and more that she couldn’t exist outside and that it would be the best to keep hidden. But somehow the situation seemed to get out of control. Fear about the world, the life outside and the people there grew up. She felt isolated and somehow locked in. She missed life. And a main question came more and more into her mind, “Who am I?”.

In one of her desperate moments she told her mother the whole story about her doubles and the reason why she had created them and asked her for an advice. Her mother sighed relieved, because now she knew that her child wasn’t lost.
“You needn’t be afraid. You are a healthy strong girl. Believe me you really don’t need your doubles. Send them away and make your own experiences. The world is also full of good things and good people. Believe in yourself and live your life.”

A bit of her self-confidence back she started to send some of her doubles away. First the one who brought home all the fear; then the one who brought home the sorrows; then the one who fed the doubts; the one who tried so hard to be a perfect being; the dream-killer; the one who always said “no way out”; the one who thought that feelings were not trustworthy; and so on. They all left
the princess one after another.

The princess felt better more and more. Only one double was left; the one who took care about the princess, the one who consoled the princess when she was sad. The princess liked that double very much. But after a while living together the caring-double said, “Hey princess. You know I like you very much, but I see you don’t need me anymore. You are strong enough; I see you take care of yourself; I see you love yourself. I’ll leave you now but I’ll be reachable. Just call me if you want me to come back.” And so the last double disappeared.

When you meet the princess on the street today you can be sure that you meet the original. She isn’t hiding herself anymore. Sometimes she is laughing and sometimes she is crying because – she is getting hurt sometimes. But she is living her feelings again and so - she is living her life again.

Copyright © Ingrid Prohaska
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