Saturday, December 25, 2010

Just a Possibility

I think I can imagine what is possible.
When I can imagine what I think is impossible,
then maybe I just think it's impossible,
although it might be possible.

Does this possibly make sense?
Or is it just an impossible thought by me?

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska

Friday, December 24, 2010

About a Break


by Ingrid Prohaska

"Take a break" she said
but I couldn't
"Take a break" she said
but I couldn't stop running
"Take a break" she said
but I couldn't stop running after things
things I thought I have to reach

One day
her voice faded
and she moved to a better place.
And I
I had to take a break

"Life will go on" I cried
but I couldn't
"Life will go on" I cried
but I couldn't continue
"Life will go on" I cried
but I couldn't continue the way
the way I was used to go

One day
I stopped searching
and started finding
And I
I opened my eyes

"Dance with me" he smiled
and I couldn't
"Dance with me" he smiled
and I couldn't resist
"Dance with me" he smiled
and I couldn't resist to say
to say finally - "I love you"

© 2011 Ingrid Prohaska

Monday, December 20, 2010

On the Terminal

by Ingrid Prohaska

I got out of the train on that big terminal. I had a lot of bags; my baggage had become very heavy during the long lasting journey.
I felt tired, somehow burned out, hopeless and nearly desperate. I didn’t know, where my journey would go when I was going to leave the station again, but I was sure - I didn’t want to take all these heavy bags with me any more.

"St.Lazare" Claude Monet
I carried my baggage into the station hall and looked for a silent place. Finally I sat down on a bench in a low frequented area. I thought about what I could do.
I watched the passengers carrying their suitcases and bags. Some of them carried very heavy, others seemed almost to dance with their light bags.
“I wish that could be me; dancing through the life only with light bags, carrying only things I really need.”

I had lost some of my light bags with things I was missing now. And somehow I was already used on the heavy bags I carried with me; this made it so difficult to dump them. Sometimes I asked myself, why it was so easy to lose light bags, and seemingly not possible to get rid of heavy ones.

While I was lost in my thoughts, my eyes fell upon a sign “Lost & Found”.
“Hey,” I thought, “there are the experts!”

I took up all my bags, carried them towards the sign, walked into the agency and looked for a friendly face. A middle-aged man with a blue working-coat stood behind the desk. He had a boring face without any expression.
“Can I help you?” he said expressionless with a monotonous voice.
“Yes, I really want to get rid of my heavy bags. Could you please give me an advice?”
“Never heard about someone who wants to lose something,” he answered still monotonous, “Normally people come to us because they want to find what they have lost.”
“Well,” I said, “I also lost a lot of things during my journey. So, maybe you can help me in this way?”
“Yes,” he said and gave me a form, “fill it out, make a list, describe your bags and bring it back. Then we will see, if someone has found your things.”
I took my pen and wrote down a list: love, time, joy, humor and hope.
I gave him the list and a smile crossed his face.
“Yes Lady, these things are often lost. Our backroom is full of these things. These are light bags. People rather lose light bags than heavy ones.”
He opened the door to the backroom, so that I could have a look into it and I was really surprised.
“And nobody comes to get back what he has lost?” I asked.
“Seldom,” he said. “Although many people miss their light bags, they don’t take the time to find them. Others even don’t notice what they have lost. So, we’ll have a look for your bags.”
He went into the backroom and while I was waiting, I felt hope coming back. And really how I had felt, he brought me the well acquainted bag of my hopes. Suddenly I felt joy. I had tears in my eyes when he brought me my bag of joy a short time later.

I left the “Lost & Found” agency again with my bags of hope and joy. And anyhow - my heavy baggage seemed lighter. I sat down again in the station hall. I cried and laughed the same time.

“Hey Lady, is everything alright with you?” An old man had sat down beside me. I told him my story about getting back my hope and my joy.
“But I still wish to lose my heavy bags.” I ended my story.
“What is in your heavy bags?” he asked.
“Well,” I sighed, “I had a lot of bad experiences, hurts, guilt, doubts, fears. – Do you know how to get rid of them?”
He smiled. “Losing heavy things is not so easy, eh? They are often connected with the fear of forgetting and forgetting bad things is often connected with the fear of happening again. Right?”
I nodded.
“Love helps,” he continued.
“But I have lost my love.” I answered sadly.
“Okay,” he said, “and what’s about your self-love? I’m pretty sure you have some, otherwise you wouldn’t wish to change your baggage.”
I looked around, “Could be I have a little bag self-love anywhere.”
“So take care of your self-love, let it grow. This can be a way to lose your doubts and fear and guilt. I’m sure you won’t miss them. And love will heal your hurts. And love,” he said, “will become more and more, if you take care of it and you will be able to give love and so you will get love.”
I felt that this man was right.
“And – do you also know, how I can find my lost time and my lost humor?”
He smiled again. “Time,” he said, “is lost. It is past. But take care of your future moments. Try to enjoy every moment in your life. And humor,” he said still smiling, “humor, you’ll see, come back alone.”
Before I could thank the old man for his advice, he disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. But he was right again.

After I had left the station – with my light baggage I had decided to walk except of taking another train – I found a bag of humor. I laughed and I danced and then – I wrote down this story.

Copyright © 2007, 2010 Ingrid Prohaska

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Out of the Shade

by Ingrid Prohaska

I think
she has to step out of the shade
before she is going to be fade

I think
she deserves much more
than just being number two, three or four.

Copyright © 2010 Ingrid Prohaska