Curiosity

by Ingrid Prohaska

a soul
a body
child and adult at the same time
reborn
innocent again and already guilty
still feeling the warmth, the trust
but already confronted with the lie
fragile and strong
learning again what I was already taught
in a wrong way
or was it the right one?
Questioning every reaction
Learn how to move
in little steps
not yet able to run
but I should already
should I?
Knowing exactly how to handle the body
helpless to handle the soul in a right way
but I know how
do I?
Still feeling the warmth of the blanket
how long can I keep this feeling
in the cold and windy outside?
The protecting coat of love blown away
by duties, manipulation and fear

I'm feeling dizzy
how long can I stand this time?

Forcing the soul is hurting the body
What has started so full of hope
lies here
broken in pieces again
only the desire to live is still alive.

Existing instead of living
please don't tell me
that this is the price.

Is there a deadline
on my second chance?
The time can not be right
haunted and chased
will make me fail again.

I can not win
the fight against your clock
I know
I can never ever be on time
in my second chance.

But when I close my eyes
I still see
how beautiful my life could be.
And so I do keep moving
maybe just because I want to know
if there is a chance for me
a chance for a life
wonderful like a dance.

Copyright © 2011 Ingrid Prohaska

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