Friday, December 25, 2009

About Somebody

by Ingrid Prohaska

I was in an ugly mood that day. I remember only a few days in my life when I was in such a bad mood. The sun was shining outside and it was a really warm day in early summer but I had those destructive thoughts about my life. Well with one word I couldn’t stop looking on my dark side.
Sinking deeper and deeper into the swamp of that part of my soul I thought about what I couldn’t have reached yet and why I was such a loser.
Nearly on the bottom of my black thoughts I spoke out loud, “Is there anybody on earth who really needs me?” And I started crying.
My hand just reached for a handkerchief when I heard a gentle voice saying very shyly, “Hey you, I need you.”
I was really surprised wondering who was speaking because I was very sure that I was alone.
I looked around and saw - a little figure looking at me; expecting how I would react. The figure was hardly to describe, maybe half of a meter tall, somehow transparent like a piece of fog in the form of a little human, the contour very weak, but with a pleasant charisma, somehow like-able and somehow even familiar.

"Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m Somebody,” the little figure answered, “and I need you. You can help me.”
“I don’t think that I can help somebody. I even can’t help myself.” I replied.
“But …” its voice sounded a bit sad, but then - this little figure actually started singing, “You are the sunshine of my life …”
I had to laugh, but immediately very serious again I said, “Stop singing. You make me laugh.”
“What’s wrong when you are laughing?” the little Somebody wanted to know and started singing again, “You are the sunshine of my life …”
“Stop it!” I shouted, “Don’t you see that I’m in a bad mood?”
The little Somebody looked at me very sadly. “I love you,” the little Somebody said very softly, “I trust you. And I know you can help me.” Its eyes looked at me very gently and warmly, and its words touched me.
“So, how do think I can help you?” I asked a bit more calm now.
“I know a place where a big treasure is hidden," the little Somebody said with twinkling eyes, "But I can’t get there alone. Look at me. I’m too little and too weak to get very far.”
“Yes, I see.” I answered and then I asked, “Is it possible that we met each other in former times?”
“Maybe,” the little Somebody smiled secretly.
“You look so acquainted to me.” I continued.
“Possible.” the little Somebody answered, “So would you please help me?”
“Alright then. - What do you think I can do for you?”
“Please follow me,” the little Somebody said, “I’ll show it to you.”
I stood up and walked behind the little Somebody. I didn’t know why, but I tried to imitate its kind of walking and the feeling that I knew this figure grew up more and more.

After a while we reached a lake and the little Somebody stopped, “The weather is fine. Let’s go swimming.”
“Swimming?” I asked surprised, “I thought you wanted to show me something.”
“Yes,” the little Somebody said, “Take off your clothes and jump head first into the water; I know you like the feeling when the water flows along your body and you hear nothing except the rushing of the water. I know you like just to feel the water and yourself.”
“Yes, that’s right,” I wondered, “but how do you know …?”
“So, come on.” the little Somebody said and jumped into the water.
I took off my clothes, still shaking my head of wonder, and jumped with a header into the lake.
And I enjoyed it so much. I had already forgotten what a great feeling it was for me, leaving all back and tasting the freedom.
When my head was out of the water again I looked for the little Somebody. I found it close to me kicking with hands and feet.
“Can you see the island in front of us?” the little Somebody asked.
“Yes.” I answered.
“I want to get there but I’m too weak to swim so far.”
“So am I,” I sighed.
“No, no, I believe you are strong enough to swim so far.” the little Somebody replied.
“Let me sit on your neck; I’m sure we can reach the island.”
“I guess it’ll take us at least one hour,” I said, “and I’m pretty sure - I don’t have the power to swim so long.”
“I know you can do it.” the little Somebody replied softly.
I looked at the island again, tried to estimate the distance again and said finally with a sigh, “Alright then, I’ll try it.”
The little Somebody smiled satisfied.

After a while I got a bit tired and so I reduced my speed. The little Somebody noticed that and suggested, “Swim on your back. The water will carry us. I know you like that.”
“Yes, I do indeed,” I answered wondering again why that figure knew me so well, “but I can’t see where we are moving when I swim on my back.”
“I’ll guide you. Trust me.” the little Somebody said.
“Alright then.” I said and turned my body on my back.
The little Somebody took place on my right shoulder and I saw that it was looking into the direction we were going to swim.
I really enjoyed the moving of my body on the water, while I was looking at the sky watching the clouds or keeping my eyes closed and enjoyed only the moving on the water. Suddenly I hurt my head.
“Ouch!” I said, “Hey little Somebody, you promised to guide me!”
“Just a piece of wood,” the little Somebody tried to calm me. “Take it square over your belly. It’ll help us.”
I did what the little Somebody suggested. It sat down on the piece of wood now and we continued our way more comfortably and without any hurry.

Finally we really reached the island. We climbed out of the water and lay down for a rest.
“Do you enjoy our journey?” the little Somebody asked.
“Well, it is hard but I like adventures.” I answered wondering about my words because - I had nearly forgotten that I like adventures.
After a while the little Somebody suggested to continue our journey. We walked along the shore. The little Somebody with its little feet walked slower than I wanted to go so I asked if I should carry it. Somebody took place on my right shoulder.

"Let’s go into that wood,” the little Somebody said pointing its right hand towards a seemingly dense forest.

“The sun will set soon.” I remarked sorrowful.
“Don’t care about that. We’ll reach our goal soon. Trust me.”
We stepped into the wood like walking through a small door and followed a narrow path. It was actually very dark but I enjoyed the fresh cool air.
“Are you afraid?” the little Somebody wanted to know.
“Nobody can frighten me.” I answered like the heroes in the movies. I heard the little Somebody giggling.
“Psst! Be quiet!” it said suddenly very serious and I stopped.
“What’s going on? Why shall I be quiet?” I whispered.
“Just for fun!” the little Somebody giggled again.
“If you have the power to make jokes you can also walk by yourself.” I returned offended.
I set the little Somebody on the ground and it walked in front of me again.
Although it was going darker and darker I recognized that the contours of the figure became clearer and I also noticed that the figure grew up.
“Is it possible that you grow up?” I asked. “It may well be.” I heard the little Somebody saying but then I lost it out of my sight.
“Hey Somebody, where are you?”
No answer.

I missed Somebody and I felt alone. I stopped moving and thought about if I should have a look for Somebody or better should stay where I was.
Suddenly I heard a horrible voice saying, “Nobody can frighten you? Eh?”
A big black creature stepped from the right towards me.
“Who are you?” I stammered.
“I’m Nobody,” the creature answered, “and I’m frighten you. And I can stop you. Eh - that means I’ve already stopped you.”
I really wished that Somebody would be with me - and somehow I felt it very close.

“Psst! I’m here!” I heard Somebody saying.

I sighed relieved. Now I felt secured again.
“That is Nobody.” Somebody whispered.
“Yes, I know this already.” I answered nervously.
“Hey, did you understand? That is Nobody. That means nobody or better no body.”
Somebody boxed me with its elbow into my ribs.
Suddenly I understood, “So, Nobody can frighten me!”
Somebody laughed, “Yes, Nobody can frighten you!”
Now I also had to laugh.
This moment we heard an angry grunt and Nobody disappeared.

I looked at Somebody and noticed that it had already the same size than I had. And its contours had become very clear – and I also noticed that Somebody looked very similar to me. Too similar I meant.
“So, Somebody please tell me now: Who are you? I really think I know you.”
Somebody smiled at me and said, “Well, I’m your hidden treasure. - I’m you,” and continued, “I need you because I love you.”
I felt Somebody's arms around my body and said, “Thank God, I’m at home again.”

Copyright © 2008 Ingrid Prohaska


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